I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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