How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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