Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We don't watch enough power rangers
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
