We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
