I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Randomize
