It was confusing and full of hummus
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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