theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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