Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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