does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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