At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
