Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
A bitchslap is in order.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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