i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
