Christians are straight up FREAKS
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
