Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
