ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
