SEEEEXXX PLEASE
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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