i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
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