i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize