Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize