Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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