the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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