Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
