420 ftw
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
