Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
