She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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