I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
