How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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