Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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