I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
