Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
