ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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