Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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