Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
