I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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