Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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