i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
