theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
