He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
