I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
