Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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