Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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