my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
