i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
