girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
