Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
