She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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