we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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