Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
