So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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