Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
