i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
