hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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