But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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