I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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