Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
it hurts more in the daytime
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
