When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
