I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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