Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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