She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
