I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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