We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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