How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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