I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
